Tuesday, September 12, 2017

How George the stupid Bully met his match

In our scattered little villages where I grew up under the tutelage of my late Grandmother, there used to be a neighborhood baddie who harassed all of us. This happened when we were pre teens. Like all the bullies he was generally stupid, if by stupid you mean lack of common sense present in all of us medically certified sane. He had a body like a hippopotamus, a gait like a gorilla. His skin was a hide of a crocodile. As young ones , he used to lord over us. By lording over us I mean harassing us big time; especially those of us who are of slight built as most of my friends were by then. As you'll know with all village boys, herding cattle was our main activity on weekends or when the schools closed for holidays. We would huddle together as a group of young small boys and play all sorts of games in the veld. Marbles, stick fighting or impersonating different characters we used to see on television. Acting out the impersonations of the then hit drama series, Shaka Zulu was our main staple. It was fun, I tell you. We would cluster in groups, with our bare chests and faces smeared with clay just like in Shaka Zulu or we will go swimming to the nearest dam. Everyone of us looked forward to these games in the veld. Some times we will be gone for the rest of the day without going home. Hunger was often forgotten in such instances. But in all of this fun there was one major blemish that disturbed us. It was in the name of the towering George with cracking heels baked with dirt. He would come sauntering like a peacock, biceps bulging and his neckline as if filled with concrete. Ohhh man, George the bully will spoil everything!One thing about him was the grave lack of social skills. The language of violence and fighting was the one he understood quite well. He would come between us with a sneer plastered of his pimply face and laughing that sinister laugh of his. With the voice full of authority he will pick up some loose soil in both of his hands and go like "<i>Dingaan , Themba come here. If you Themba are not afraid of Dingaan slap down this piece of soil off my hand. If you don't then it means you're afraid of him."Mind you Dingaan was his barrel- chested foot soldier who was not afraid to crack open the poor boy's skull with a stick or a stone. To safe face you'll have to fight even though fighting was not your thing. As I have said, me and my company were a peaceful, playful lot. Nothing wrong with that, I guess. With malice, stupid George would lure us into fighting. We will watch at how a poor defenseless boy will be battered. I survived this excursions because of my Uncle who was respected in the neighborhood and we got television at home and nobody wanted to be on the bad side of my uncle by beating me up. So we will watch this onslaught on poor fellows who had nothing of substance to safe their skin. Thuu...thhuu...thwaa!! The fists will fly. In most cases the contestants will be unevenly matched, with the side kick Dinngaan taking the upper hand. The unfortunate kid will be hammered with fists and often blood will flow. At times it will be said. Sometimes the weakling will have a surprise on his sleeve and we will cheer when he stood his ground against the bully. It was stupid George's way of entertainment. Honey combs will be taken from us when we have harvested the bees and George will enjoy most of the honey. Word on the street was that he was quite dumb at school. He ended in grade four whereas most of those kids he use to harass are doctors, accountants and established professionals. Not George who is still hung up with his teen years. His stories are still characterized by the way he used to harass us. Hmf! I guess it shows that his mental capacity has still not risen above his once cracked heels. yes, George was that kind of guy ....until he met his match one day. This came in the form of one boy named Ronnie, but to us he was nicknamed Stone. With lean thighs like the famous Zimbabwean Olympiad, Maria Mutola in her prime stone arrived from the please(Farms). Jesus,he was a nice piece of spicemen.Many said his diet included skimmed milk with porridge everyday, for the White Farmer took off all the cream from the milk to make butter. Skimmed milk and porridge was Stone staple. He was a horse rider of note could and ride a horse on bare back . He had two stallions that belongs to his father. Yes, I remember those....Weeskind (Orphan) and Boesman (Bushman). Stone was a picture of pure muscle. It happened that George the fool and his side kick beat up Stone's cousin while he was looking after the sheep. George was engaged in his usual antics kicking and slapping up the poor boy. The young boy told his cousin Stone what had transpired. Some days passed with nothing happening. One day Stone arrived at the veld just at the right time. You see, Stone like to wear shorts to expose to bulging thighs of his but this time around he opted for the long trouser. Being a good soul that he was Stone could be mistaken for a bangbroek (a wimp) because his younger cousin was always in the group that was beaten by George. The small boy told Stone and some days passed with nothing happening. On that day when Stone arrived he calmly looked at his crying young cousin and asked what was going on. Up stood George with a mealie cob on his hand "Yes, diplasi, a bo re gwaa!". (yes, a fool from the farms get off my face) and slapped him. He should have never said that or done that. We only just heard earth- shattering rhhuuu and dust rising up. Just like in the famous Chinua Achebe's novel when Okwonkwo was throwing down the great wrestler, Amalinze the Cat George was thrown down. He misjudged Stone's shortness of built and thought could do what he was known for. He stood up the....Rhhuuu again This went on for a while. Stone had not for once raise his hand to hit him. He just let the earth do his job for him....by throwing the bully down like a piece of wet rag. Now, this is what happens when a bully had met his match....he becomes a wimp. I remember George, dusty and with quivering voice say ..."He monna Stone o mpusha yang yong? ( Stone how are you pushing me). Then the response was "Ke go pusha stadig" . (I am pushing you slowly). That day George and his side kick lost the fight. Their honey combs were taken, their mealie cobs taken and Stone let every other kid who was once beaten by the bully to have his revenge. He was whipped with sticks and fists. It stopped wen the bully started to bellow. From then onwards we lived in peace ever after...the fun was back. Up to this day George do not wanna talk about that incident every time I meet with him. His is a bit civil now. I guess it took his match to make him human again because he was an animal.....

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