Monday, February 19, 2018

Blessed are those who can see right through the amoured cloak of fakeness

I once had a close friend who was a God's gift to friendship, even if I say so myself. For, you see I wake up this morning feeling a little bit nostalgic, a little bit narcisstic. Due to the requirements to amass we don't normally see much of each other these days. Damn, I miss that bloke....terribly. He had the knack of cutting through Sh**t. I remember the time when we were still in Varsity and were into girls (well, in my case I was into them from a safe distance....being scruffy and whatnot, and generally unable to rub two pennies together and generally unappealing. I guess that tells you a lot about my background. Yes, I am working class as they come and had made peace with that. Now back to the actual aim of this blog post. Now my charming friend was into hot girls . Let me make mention of the fact that his name will be withheld to avoid embarrassing him. My dear friend let me in on a secret that I still hold dear even today ...ten years after academia. He once told me that beauty and brains do not normally go together, especially when it comes to the fairer sex. As we sat during one lunch break at our favourite eating establishment ( it was far-flung, hidden away from the pretentious eating joints frequented by many), we bisected his latest hot chick. I was hanging at his every word. You see his latest chick used to make me feel that I am a persona non grata. I could feel the undercurrents of her seizing me up every time we hang out. Mind you, I've got my own special gift. One being able to pick out when the next person is thinking he or is way much better than me without actually saying it. The tone of the voice, the body language, etc. can give you clues . I have learned a lot. My friend told me that actually her girlfriend had nothing between the ears to write home about. That she actually was a bit insecure and a downright bore. Let me hasten to say that I am not in anyway misogynistic or anything. I have a number of close friends who are of the opposite sex and we get on fine. My friend continued to say that I seem to adore her girlfriend and should not be fooled by that. He went on to point out that by the mere fact that she (the girlfriend) was also in love with a guy from medical school said a lot about her morals and surely I should know better to be fooled by her intoxicating beauty. That she was taking money form the Med School guy and giving it to her. Now that got me thinking. I am more attracted to the inner beauty and mental astuteness than by anything. A woman who fails to intellectually stimulate me is a turn off in as far as I am concerned. Back to my philandering friend of mine. He again told me he can tell a girl is condescending from a afar. I did not ask what he meant by that but I guess it has lot to do with having two faces. Now that's pretty dangerous if you ask me. There is nothing that is refreshing for me as the woman who is grounded, principled and fun to be with. Mind you, my friend is now married to a totally different woman who is ordinary by the way of looks and they have a small family going on....

Sunday, February 18, 2018

The politics of Living.....

I sounds like a cliché' but it is very, very sad ....especially when it include people that were once close to me. What happened to the good old days of camaraderie? We seem to be usurped by the insatiable need to be relevant? to be in the moment? to be a success? Our morbid fascination to be a "success" seem to be a cancer that is eating at the fiber of our being. A while back I stopped talking to one of my best friend for precisely this reason. Mind you, I describe him as my former close friend because we were that close...until the need to accumulate took precedence of our lives. My said friend was working for a certain State-owned enterprise the last time I spoke to him and was busy trying to climb up the slippery pole of success. It happened thus that he gave me his free number , for , you see , he was in the telecommunications industry. One of the perks that came with his job was to make calls for free. As you can imagine, South Africa is a third world country with very, very expensive telephones calls. I was more than happy to receive such a friendly gesture from him ....that I will be able to call him every time at no cost at all. I was very thankful for that and our friendship continued like before (We had separated some few years earlier after high school due to the dictates of life). Our friendship continued like house on fire upon touching base once again. It felt as if we never separated...until one day when my said friend asked me what did I do with my life since the last time we temporarily separated. Alas, that was a bombshell. Being naïve and taking things literally that " A friend in need is a friend indeed" I was unfazed to tell the guy that things had never been rosy since we parted. My life had the saying goes. Well as you know we humans and our decency, the platitudes were coming thick and fast that "don't worry Joe things will work out at the end, blah, blah". I took everything well....not that I was having trouble with the direction my life was taking anyway, but still... You see, my said friend had been to university and was having a job that was paying him fairly well. Had a house, a wife and a kid....the works!! As for me I was still counting days and chasing shadows with nothing to show for it but nonetheless our friendship continued for a time being. I called him at his work for free like I used to do. Six months down the line there was a significant change in our conversation. My jokes were no longer met with the usual humor like before. I had to justify myself most of the time. It came to pass one particular day he dropped a major bombshell....that "Joe, you should understand that I am living a totally different life now and I'm very busy man .You should understand that". Duh! It made me as if I was always pestering the guy. Even though it will seem narcissistic, I am the most sensible guy you can find in this small part of South Africa. Common sense is my middle name. I got the message loud and clear and never called him again . His carefully constructed words spelt the first rift in our friendship. Three years later I started at University which ended with a Masters degree course, of which I dropped out if due to largely boredom and the inability to continue to pay my fees. Not that this piece of information is earth-shattering. Nothing of the sort. It just shows that I'm able to go with the general flow of life. Mine was just to explore and stretch my mind a little bit. Nothing much. Upon that period I happen to meet my friend. Word has gone round that Joe was up to something . We met one afternoon at Braamfontein train station. I was coming from a grueling interview at the Department of Foreign Affair (Of which I failed I must add). After sharing pleasantries with my friend he proceeded to look into my file. In there I had a copy of my CV, copies of my certificates and the other general personal detritus. He went "ughh, Masters In International know most people take Masters degree to mean something when in fact is nothing". You see I am a very laid back- king - of guy. Instead of coming back with my own wise crack retort I sit there taking it in . What was of interest to me was to look the general nature of us humans. Here was a typical example of how much we have lost ourselves in the pursuit of success right in front of me. A vindictive example at that... Let it be noted that I have cut the ties with the pompous airhead once and for all. He had no right to be in my life. I don't roll like that. My friend is still my friend even though our life stages might go through radical changes. What brought us together was something bigger than ourselves....if that tie breaks we've got no business to be in each other's lives. I have numerous examples of which the space afforded by this platform cannot make it possible to mention them. The other day I was with my childhood friend. We had a lot to talk about as it was long time since we last seen each other. What is word? As we were reminiscing about the past over some few beers he pointed to something covered in canvass...."that's my car over there man", he announced proudly. "O yeah, good luck man, let me see it", that was me. Instead of showing me his babe he let it slip that ever since it stopped over some piece of mechanical work. As I was taking all this I noted the said car was on top of bricks and everything else, and it will be some time it returns back on our roads. My two cents of thought went into "why waste your money on a piece of scrap metal if you could have renovated your house considering the fact that you had a small family to raise? or maybe you could have bought some shares with the money. Right now you could maybe showing me a share certificate that could cover your kids in the event of your death?". I mean that was just me but I couldn't voice my thoughts. You know, social graces graces....

Thursday, January 11, 2018

The sinister girl who used to put me through torture

This happened last January in the scorching heat of Cape Town. After having negotiated with the sometimes non co-operative white farmers on the Cape Wine route we often went on to Camps Bay Beach to distress. Mind you, the role of talking to these often anal-retentive lot fell squarely on me because I'm well versed in Afrikaans, the lingua franca in these parts . I had to ask these farmers permission to gain access to their work force so that we can interview them for the Social cohesion study we were undertaking. So, we were sent there in Cape Town as Field researchers to get into the headspace of what made communities in this area tick. So you can understand what tensions this was causing to those farmers who are often known to ill-treat their workforce. As a spokesperson it was particularly stressful to me. So the lure of the beach after work was often a welcomed relief to my frayed nerves. Upon reaching the beach we will take our clothes off and enjoyed the cooling effects of the water on our bodies. In my team there was this particular girl who used to torture me. I guess she enjoyed it. I suppose there was a sinister plan behind all her actions. Man, she will be in her bikini and come straight for me..."T, can you take photos of me please ?" she would ask as she handed me her Samsung Tablet. With waves lapping against the rocks and the scenic Camps Bay Beach on the background she would pose as I took the shots. Click, clicks the camera will roll. I guess the whole exercise was meant too gain bragging rights against her friends back home in Johannesburg. With flavor of the moment being Facebook and Instagram my guess was she would post some of the photos on this hated platforms. Her friends will envy her posing there in her bikini like that airhead, Kim Kardashian. Man, I am not in anyway dirty or a degenerative cave man. I am as civilized as they come, but hey a combination of a sandy beach, the waves, rocks and a perfume emanating from her body towards my direction as she posed this way and that was becoming a toxic cocktail that made me light-headed. I acted civil and nonchalant regardless of this but hey man it was total torture! Right there I understood the meaning of "getting hot under the collar" with crystal clarity To paint a picture for you. Man I felt like Jacob Zuma invited at the annual Zulu reed dance with Isilwane sa Mabandla, Goodwill Zwelithini glaring at him and going something like..."hey, hey, hey, unga linge! (Hey you must never think about it). You get the picture? No? Well, let me bring you up to speed by painting this scenario. I felt like Comrade Cyril Matomela Ramaphosa sleeping and dreaming about his own Nkandla teeming with Buffalos, Zebras and alligators roaming around as his personal pets only to wake up and realized it was just a mere dream. That he is not yet a president of a country so that he can start with his own plundering the riches of South Africa. O Yeah, you now get the picture. I can see the light going on in your head. Ahhh, at least you're not that slow. Yeah man, that girl tortured me and I hope wherever she is a mischievous smile flashes across her mouth and thinks "Ja, I got him where I wanted, he is like a caged animal. Look at him" NB, the identity of the girl will be withheld for obvious reason. Cheerio!

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

kurian's New Age Blog: A POEM FOR BAKOLOBENG STUDENTS., My former Secondary School . It brings back fond memories

kurian's New Age Blog: A POEM FOR BAKOLOBENG STUDENTS:             A  poem   for  Bakolobeng    students  April   25th   was  a memorable   day  at  Bakolobeng   Secondary   School for   many ...

Monday, November 20, 2017

Mugabe's polished Queen language and his son Marie Antoinneitte's theatrics

I was glued to my television screen this passed weekend as I waited the downfall of Southern African's last despot, Comrade, Uncle Bob R.G Mugabe. I guess as it was everywhere, this was riveting news about to unfold in Zimbabwe. At least I was spared the crap that is South African television programming for a while as I awaited History been made. This was big news! Then my television flickered and on came the despot. I could hear pins dropping right across the world as the world listened. Then started the actual speech of the man..."the era of victimization and arbitrary decisions must end". He continued to say that he will preside over his party congress in few weeks..."I will preside over its process, which must not be prepossessed by any acts calculated to undermine it or to compromise the outcomes in the eyes of the public".He used words like vicissitude, mores & assuage. Damn, if our President Zuma was polished liked that! Which then brings me to another question. Don't we always talk of the "English gentleman"?, which for me presupposes the one who should possess a certain , measured disposition about him? Have a certain decorum? You never hear of a German gentleman, a Scandinavian gentleman or an African gentleman. No. It is always an English gentleman. Which for me presupposes a certain degree of measured restraint. Not a blatant defiance shown by Mugabe yesterday. Why is it the Queen's language had made uncle Bob as stubborn as a mule? Going right on...what about his youngest son, Chatunga Bellarmine Mugabe's notorious excesses? I read over the social media this week that he was seen washing his 850,000 Rand watch with an expensive ACE OF SPADES Champagne at a Sandton night club this weekend? Phew! To Zimbabweans I say forward with Operation Murambantsvina! It is about time you clean up this vermin from your midst.

Monday, October 2, 2017

Facebook had become a dumping ground for our degenerative brain cells

The advent of social media arrived with much fanfare and it promised to be a revolution that needed to be televised, so we were told. Newspaper reels and media theorists across the expanse of information highway had tongues wagging. Here was a novelty about to level the playing fields in a disproportionately uneven information age.In came Facebook in a whirlwind fashion pushing the then MYSPACE out of the way.The promise was to allow a peasant from Kenya or a Shepherd from rural South Africa to engage with issues of the day. An informed citizenry. I remember hearing this from my then esteem Media Studies Professor. How wrong we were! Fast- forward Facebook to 2017 it has become a dumping ground for our degenerative brain cells. Instead of democratizing information social media had led to a high point in narcissism. Selfies and a general useless mutterings that don't make us better human beings had taken center stage. Make no mistake. There is nothing wrong with individuals feeling good about themselves. It is in our innate nature to talk about ourselves. It makes us feel good in otherwise unforgiving economic times. But I guess my gripe with Facebook is the level of stupidity that has since gained ground. I for one I'm fascinated by news that makes me more informed, more better human being than I was yesterday. I often read with mind numbing boredom about individuals posting entries about what they are eating for lunch. Another time a friend of mine posted an entry of him checking in at Kentucky Fried chicken. Another yuppie acquaintance had this posted " Phew, I just had a delicious Sushi" Imagine that?! Well, maybe sushi eating is suppose to be earth-shattering news. We' ll never know. As such I had taken a resolution to stay away from Facebook to get my bearings right. It seems as though I am the odd one here. I long for substantive topics and debates. Tell me something that I don't know about. Teach me about foreign places and cultures. About books and movies that had touched your life. Let me get of Facebook a more informed citizen not feel as if I am missing out. The millennials are the worst kind of people you can find on Facebook. Here in South Africa videos of minor are posted everyday about the sexual escapades of these group. Indeed, I intend to take Mark Zuckerberg to the International criminal Court for crimes against humanity. I cannot take matters lying down. Something ought to give. At the rate we're are going humanity is faced with extinction.